My whole life I heard my mother telling me that, the lenses I wear are the lenses I will see the world!
This gave me something to start with…
I remember later on, this coming back to my mind in a different situation in my professional life.
One day a colleague commented, about a person talking about another one, – “what Paul says about Peter tells us more about Paul than about Peter”.
People can only see in others what they know or have inside them…
Back then I liked it, but lately I am understanding what an incredible insight these both lessons build together…
Only by observing others talking about a situation or a person, you can identify how the world is seen by them, and the world can only be seen from who they are. The same apply to us!
We will always live; talk, comment, suggest given the lenses we wear, depending on the moment priorities, choices, fears.
How many times we get upset because somebody is angry with us, and we forget that this is only a result of the lenses the person is wearing, literally, this is their problem with you, not your problem!
… and reacting trying to answer or help the other to solve the problem, will never work, unless you ask them, exactly WHAT (and not why) is that they are thinking, what are their assumptions?
Indeed when you start to observe more, this can be a great opportunity to go to another level… to learn about others, yourself and even more – to bring all moments to a place where good opportunities are always emerging!
Suddenly your lenses can turn your life into an universe of infinite possibilities!
A wonderful way to do it consciously (at least my learning the last months, year!) can be by using the reframing process in the book Quantum Leader from Danah Zohar, using some of the #SQprinciples to see the world with more possibilities.
When you want to start a conversation, feedback, negotiation, at home or at work, to be both authentic, clear and also open to listen and increase possibility of co-creation the steps can be:
(1) be #selfaware, (be prepared to share your What clearly, what is that you are observing, describe the situation) also know that others will have their own views
(2) be #valueandvisionled (be prepared to tell your wants and needs, what do you really need? Knowing your purpose and values is fundamental, this helps bringing consistency to your life)
(3) be open to #celebratediversity – ask what is that the other is seeing and observe – always be curious about others perspective
– even if others’ views or situations are bringing discomfort, aim to identify the discomfort and look for what you want so you can #positivelyUseAdversity
(4) be able to #reframe – identify what emotion was driving you and use free will to choose what you really want and what emotion you would like to drive what you really want! Focus on what you want, trying to identify a common intention with the other person. Reframing is identifying the emotion driving a discomfort certain situation brings to you and finally focusing on what you want.
The last year has been a great learning period of my life, learning not only to lead this different journey professionally but also in how to bring it to my personal life in the education of my kids, where discernment is the center of their education. Trying to help people to be able to take own decisions, doing their best to identify the impact it might have in our own selves, others directly close and the society, community around us!
Knowing that we will always have either a positive or negative impact in people, no matter what our intention is, is crucial…
So, the lenses you choose to see the world will determine your actions and the impact you will have in others, and in your life…
Which lenses would you like to wear? The one seeing an universe of infinite possibilities or a world of endless problems?